Amandine’s Letter: Beyond Roses and Chocolates
It's the season of love!
I hope you had a wonderful week, filled with moments of love and appreciation for those who hold a special place in your life. While Valentine's Day may sometimes feel overly commercialised, it is still a nice reminder to show affection, don't you think? But it shouldn’t be the only time you express or receive love. Make it a habit to show love and celebrate those dear to your heart.
Today, I'm diving into a reader's question about planning successful dates. Remember my dating disaster from last year? This time, let us focus on some positive tips based on my personal experiences and preferences. (Disclaimer: I am no love guru, so take what resonates and adapt it to your specific situation!)
First things first: let's ditch the mundane "What did you eat?" chat. Get to know the person! If your conversation feels like a never-ending exchange of "and you?" and "me," things might fizzle out quickly. Here is a secret weapon: "We're Not Really Strangers" has cards with conversation prompts that spark deeper connections. There are more examples of such cards online and in bookstores. These work wonders in friendships and family interactions, too.
Next, let's leave behind the "one-size-fits-all" date idea. If it's a first date and you are clueless about their preferences, opt for an activity! But choose wisely. Avoid overly crowded places and pick something that allows for conversation, like bowling, a walk in nature, or an art gallery visit. Doing activities relaxes people, lowers their guard, and reveals their true selves. You can learn a lot about someone by playing together: their patience, teamwork skills, competitiveness, and maybe even a glimpse into your compatibility.
Of course, the ideal scenario is to ask about their hobbies and interests beforehand. That way, you can choose an activity you both enjoy.
Now, let's talk about the importance of being mindful of the budget and setting realistic expectations. Not everyone has the same financial resources, so it is crucial to plan dates that are comfortable for both parties. Don't be afraid to get creative with inexpensive or free activities, like a picnic in the park, exploring a museum with free admission, or stargazing under a clear sky. The focus should be on enjoying each other's company, not on extravagant spending when you cannot afford it. Setting realistic expectations also means understanding that not every date will be perfect, and that's perfectly okay. Embrace the imperfections and focus on the connection you're building.
Finally, breathe, relax, and let go of control. Enjoy the date! Laugh freely, ask genuine questions, and don't force a connection. Let the conversation flow naturally. Remember, authenticity is key.
And what if the date isn't a good fit? Whether your date leads to a second encounter or not, it's important to remember that every interaction is an opportunity for growth. If the date was not a good fit, know how to end it gracefully. Be honest but kind, thank them for their time, and express that you do not see a romantic future together. Ending on a positive note leaves room for the possibility of friendship or future encounters without leading anyone on.
If it is your first date and it goes well or if you are already in the relationship, do not sit back and forget to continue putting in the effort. It is important to keep things interesting and to continue pursuing your partner. Any relationship be it romantic or a friendship is not a destination, it is rather a continuous act of showing up. Go on dates often!
So, ditch the script, be yourself, and have fun.
Do you have any favourite date ideas or tips? Share them with me.